Tag: Matt0147

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Idiocracy Now!

July 21, 2019

As we wade evasively in the shallow end of a pool, the horseflies trying to eat our flesh and drink our blood in their unholy communion…

On both sides of the Atlantic millions now know what idiocracy – government by the very stupidest people a nation has produced – looks like.

To the east, a man aptly described by a colleague as “you stupid, dangerous oaf” stands poised to become Prime Minister. This in order to accomplish Brexit – something which, it has become increasingly clear over the past three years, should not be done. But the will of the people must be obeyed, even if it may not be their will anymore.

Vladimir Putin, an expert on democracy if ever there was one, has chimed in, insisting that if Britain retreats from Brexit, it isn’t a democracy anymore.

So imagine a car trip through the mountains. A route is decided on because it makes sense on the map at the time. But well into the actual drive, it turns out that a bridge over a gorge is out and there is no alternative route. While common sense declares that the driver reconsider, the passenger yells “gun it!” That is democracy. The route was chosen. Decisions made must be obeyed no matter what new information may appear in the field. Pick a new route? Vote again? That would mean a democracy is only governed by the most recent vote. Which is actually the case when you think about it.

Here to the west, the morning papers say that the trade war of choice declared unilaterally by our own stupid and dangerous oaf has now resulted in a nearly 90% decline in investment by a certain huge trading partner located on the other side of that other ocean. The asymmetry of percentages bears mention here. The percentage by which revenue can increase has no mathematical cap; but it can only decrease by 100%. And that point is near.

The above is no doubt well understood by the very stable genius in the White House, who claims to have graduated first in his class from Wharton and has therefore threatened to sue Penn if they release the information which would, presumably, corroborate his assertion. As someone whose father actually did graduate first in his class from Wharton, the writer is in a position to know one when he sees one. And Mr. Trump is not one; not even close. We leave open the possibility that he was first to exit the commencement ceremony.

MOE

M.I.C.H – Modernity, Intelligence, Complexity, Humanity

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There’s Gold In Them Thar Hills!

July 20, 2019

Looking back on fifty years of moon non-exploration, the following comes to mind.

The best thing that Neil Armstrong could have done would have been to sneak a gold nugget aboard. Dropping it casually on the lunar surface, he could have then exclaimed “Gold!” and pointed a camera at the shiny little object.

Within a few hours, people would have been building rocket ships in their back yards. A working pedal-powered star cruiser, built in a garage, would have been operational within the year. Soon after, the population of the Moon would have exceeded that of Toledo.

Instead, we are left with an excuse in place of all the promise of 1969:

When are you going to mow the lawn, Hon?

After we solve our problems here on Earth, Dear.

MOE

M.I.C.H – Modernity, Intelligence, Complexity, Humanity

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Closing time for America?

July 19, 2019

Question: Is it possible to be from somewhere other than where you were raised?

Suggested Answer: Nope.

The nonsense recently tweeted by the Remander in Chief regarding four members of Congress, three born in the USA and the fourth raised here from an early age, may represent a new low even for him but raises an important issue. Where is a person from? You know, so that they can be sent back.

It’s not the place of our birth. To paraphrase an old joke, we chose that location because we wanted to be near our mother. But we wouldn’t remember the place of our birth unless reminded of the fact. Interestingly, the one known in acronymity as AOC chose a hospital to be born in which was only about twelve miles from the hospital chosen by the president. And for the same reason – to be near their mother. Perhaps their mothers knew each other. Perhaps not.

A better definition might be that we are from the place where we spent our formative years. If that was more than one place, then maybe we get to choose the one we liked best. But it is never some spot on the globe inhabited by our ancestors rather than us.

There was a comment in an alumni magazine, which bears repeating, if badly. It was posted by a woman from San Diego whose appearance, we gather, suggested ancestry in East Asia. As she told it, to our recollection, a boor kept asking where she was “from.” To which she kept answering San Diego, because that was where she was born and raised. To which the boor kept responding, “No, I mean where are you from…” all the while gesticulating and drawing out the last word. San Diego, as it turns out.

The point being that, while we might like to track our cultural heritage, there is no obligation to do so, and the sense of our origins is not somehow built in. We are an adaptable, and adoptable, species. If we are raised from infancy by seagulls on an island, we will not have a sense of whether we are from Ireland or Japan. If the island has cliffs, our bones will be found at the bottom, where we tried to follow our siblings into flight. Because we are a seagull, from the island.

“Time for you to go back to the places you will be from” (Closing Time, band: Semisonic; writer: Dan Wilson)

To suggest that four members of Congress go back to the crime infested place they came from is not much of a stretch if, by that, you mean the House of Representatives, and would be an exact match for the Senate under Mitch’s leadership. However, it is ludicrous when suggesting that these women are from somewhere other than the United States. This is particularly dangerous turf for a white male – especially one who chooses European imports over American-made two times out of three. If the Trumps got here voluntarily circa 1880, we are reminded that the importation of those who got here involuntarily and against their will was banned starting in 1808. So, if your game show host offers you a small fortune to run out to the street and grab a fifth generation American without asking any questions, and assuming you do not immediately spot someone in full feathered head dress, your chances of winning would be best if you chose someone of color.

MOE

M.I.C.H. Modernity, Intelligence, Complexity, Humanity

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All Those illions (Ms & Bs)

July 18, 2019

Q: What’s the difference between a million and a billion ?

A: Long story short: a factor of a thousand.

Since it is now popular to refer to anyone with an ungodly amount of money as a billionaire, it comes to our attention that many Americans think a billion dollars is somewhat more than a million, but just the next level, with a “b” rather than an “m.”

No, no no. We have a number for the next level: we call it ten million and on up to ninety-nine million. And for the level after that we also have a name. We call that one a hundred million. And, you guessed it, you can have up to 9.999 of those.

A billion is ten hundred million or, as the British so wisely called it back when such numbers seemed more unimaginable than quotidian, a thousand million.

So, when a tech divorcee recently announced that she is going to divest half (50%, oh my) of her wealth, reducing it from about $37B to about $18B, we might consider such generosity in the light of the fact that this will leave her with a mere eighteen thousand million dollars or, put another way, one hundred and eighty hundred million dollars, down from three hundred and seventy hundred million. Well, 37,000 million dollars was just too much anyway.

Good people, we are not doing ourselves any favors by swapping out the m with a b and shortening the number up for the sake of a convenient moniker (this is sort of the inverse of how we’re marketed 1000 milligram tablets of Vitamin C because 1 gram just seems like so much less). There’s something happening here, as the song goes, and it’s clearer if we spell out the actual degrees of difference.

MOE

M.I.C.H – Modernity, Intelligence, Complexity, Humanity